Yesterday

Stupid days pass by. My head, burnt in vain. And my mouth, closed. Empty. But holding the breath...
Leave me here. With the trees and the moon. I want to feel the cold and the fear. I need darkness and silence. Hug a dead trunk and cry alone. Take off my shoes and turn over the land and the stones. Raise the dust and wait for the wind to disperse it. Because I know you won't come. And I can't come back to you either... My feet are sore, and I can't catch up with you at the pace you are running away.

At first it felt good. I could take a deep breathe and relax. She said you were sad. And I replied 'Me too'. I lied. I was free, for just one day, of your yells. But silence can hurt too. Then I started to fear you were really dissappointed, and that you would never talk to me again. Later I stuck again to my own reasons. But what  good are my reasons if I don't let you know them? 'I can't explain myself surrounded by shouts' Excuses.

I could have done better. I'm guilty too. But I prefer being guilty with you to letting you support all the weight. I don't want to do the right thing, so that you have to apologize. Be forced to do as I want. I'm not able to explain why... but I know it in my heart. I want you to be free of my own sorrows. I don't want to force you to change. Please, decide for yourself what you want to do with me.