viernes, 23 de diciembre de 2011

Kin

There is an awkward image in front of me. I can't recognise such thin silhouette as mine.

Through the fog, I stare at a stranger. I am covered, she is covered. We look at each other with the same distrustful expression on the face. Quiet, still, silent. The fog does not move; everything is frozen.

I approach her. She is serious, and looks much older than me. Thin face and arms, naked shoulders. Our eyes wide open. She has something that belongs to me.

I feel repulsed by her appearance and I move back, slowly. She stares at me, quietly. It seems like her expression has not changed one bit. Suddenly, she starts taking off her cover, as mine begins to slide.

It finally falls, and the scene shows a naked woman. Her mature body shows no infant roundness. The history of human race seems to be written in her skin. And her fertile belly shows the readiness to give life.

She stares at me, silently. Her breast reminds me of the sex and the children I never had and never wanted. I approach her again, I try to touch her...

That is when my hand meets the mirror.

jueves, 22 de diciembre de 2011

חינם פלסטין



Close my eyes tonight.
My conscience by my side.

It's hard to live this life
Where truth begins with lies.

So I won't sleep
I will stay awake
'Cause if I dream
Then they'll take their claim

Oh try, oh try to fight...
To stay awake tonight.
Palestine, Palestine, Palestine...
Always on my mind.

Truth is where desire ends
A meaning to an end
I search myself all the time
To change what's in my mind

So I won't sleep
I will stay awake
'Cause if I dream
Then they'll take their claim

Oh try, oh try to fight...
To stay awake tonight.
Palestine, Palestine, Palestine...
Always on my mind.

I can't find peace 'cause it's hard to release what we've done.
What we could be if we'd only see what we've become.
It's unbelievable, it's undeniable, oh.
I want free, won't sleep, won't dream, won't eat, won't breathe,
Won't give in to what's building inside of me, oh...

Close my eyes tonight.
My conscience by my side.

martes, 22 de noviembre de 2011

Gard

Second time I say it. This time, I don't remember what made me think about it. But let's just do it again.


'I want to laugh, I want to cry. I want to live and to wish I'd die. Later there'll be time to be serious.'

G  I  C  S  U
u   ♣  a   t   p
y   ♣  n   a
s   ♣  't   n
♣  ♣  ♣  d

lunes, 31 de octubre de 2011

But I won't pray

'We say to those who are in love
It can't be true 'cause we're too young
I know
That's true
Because
So long
I was
So in love with you
So I thought...'



'And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream...
So we can talk about it'


So I thought...

And I'll go on thinking.

martes, 4 de octubre de 2011

Give it a try versus Give it away

It can't wait no longer. I'm on cloud nine...
Yes, I do... Yes I want to!
But...

This feeling is forbidden.
...

I don't want to make an exchange. I just want to change.
My heart needs this turmoil...

sábado, 10 de septiembre de 2011

Somebody help me to cry

Take me away with you, that's just what I want now.
(I love you all so much...)
I've seen enough up in here...


You really have a problem with me.

~

The best person ever... Thank you for saving me each and every time.
I love you forever.

miércoles, 31 de agosto de 2011

Just thrilled

All alone in the train car, I contemplated the slow sunrise through the big window.
I discerned my long-awaited dream among the dark silhouettes of the trees and the pink clouds...


Just imagining that I could be only a few hours of you takes my breath away...

Arbor

And for a moment I almost give myself over a love with deadline. A steady tree with ancient roots and long branches that tower over me and protect me from wind and rain. Whose leaves create a cover that keeps me away from my deepest fears...
A life of mediocrity, with an expiry date that they want to make up, insured with a spirituality that asphyxiates my own interests and preoccupations.


But I preferred to sit in the shade of a green and flexible trunk, where I can be myself.
With light branches that surround you only with caresses when the wind blows (and sometimes when you least expect it). With leaves that hold it back when it is too strong but let the rain pass through and refresh you, hit you, calm you and hurt you, making us grow taller, stronger and wiser.


That helps me face the fears of the future, and teaches me how to be happy with them, almost by chance...
I already thought about it, and there's nothing that I would like to do most than rolling over your bed while taking photos of you with my fingers. Enjoying naturally a love that's evergreen and free in its deepest meaning.

martes, 16 de agosto de 2011

SYM

Just a kiss from your lips and I'm... gone.
Just a smile from your touch and I'm... gone.
Just a touch from your words makes me whole!
And the glance from your eyes says home.

I see what you're doing, you're piling it all up one by one,
Pulling from the stars, drinking the teas...
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE PILING IT ALL UP ONE BY ONE,
PULLING THE EYES, PULLING THE TEAS AND CROSSING THEM ALL OUT!

Just a kiss from your lips.
Just a smile from your touch and I'm gone.
Just a touch from your words makes me whole!
And the glance from your eyes says home.

I see what you're doing, you're piling it all up one by one,
Pulling from the stars, drinking from the seas...
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE PILING IT ALL UP ONE BY ONE,
PULLING THE STARS, PULLING THE SEAS AND CROSSING THEM ALL OUT!

Don't you want to be my love?
Can't we suddenly elope?
Try and cross the sea on boat.
Can't we suddenly oh no...?

Just a... Just a kiss from your lips and I...
[Bird of Paradise  - Serj Tankian]

We drink from the river then we turn around and put up our walls

Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life


Aerials, so up high
When you free your eyes
Eternal prize
[Aerials - System of a Down]

miércoles, 10 de agosto de 2011

Calibrating the estimation

-Can you respect and desire healthily?
-You don't want anybody.
-I respect you too much.
-You're empty.
She turned to him angrily.
-I'm changing -she spoke through clenched teeth.
-You lie.
-I love you!
-You're crazy...
She looked down at the floor.

Respecting real desires.

-Can you respect and... love?
-As could not be otherwise.
She heaved the breath, overwhelmed.
-Why do I find it so hard to understand this time?
-Because you don't want to love me.
-I think I don't...
-You do -he interrupted.
She relaxed her shoulders and, still confused, asked:
-Am I being selfish?
He put his arm around her waist.
-You're trying hard...

Desiring real respect.

-Trust me or forget me -he sentenced.
-I don't intend to forget you.
-Then, stop inhibiting yourself.
-You're crazy!
He took his arm off her waist and walked away. She was dying to run towards him but...

~

He perdido toda la vida buscando el arca perdida.
Los tesoros imposibles que ha escondido tu sonrisa.
Si lo nuestro fue mentira, tus coartadas no respiran.
Olvidaste pintalabios imprudente, insolente, impaciente, improcedente en bocas que no eran la mía.
[Los tesoros imposibles - Huecco]

martes, 9 de agosto de 2011

Gentle

I don't want instantaneous pleasure.
I prefer the one that comes along spontaneously. Like a laugh. Or a touch...


And don't seek the pleasure. Don't try to make it yours. It flows with the time...
There's no beauty in something that's not free.


Yea, with all them, so what?

miércoles, 3 de agosto de 2011

Your bloody nose

Listening to half of the song. Half of the instruments, half of the effects... It shows that small things are important.
You in general, everything in particular. Don't take your features away from me. Let me look at you and yours once again.


No, I won't trust you. You're not easy, and you won't come easy. I'm longing for your final blow... And I don't care that you're actually a real angel. At first, for me, all that you showed was a way to smooth the deal. Then you told me the truth, with the ease you keep for everything. And I won't deceive you, I lost a bit of respect for myself. Because I respect you too much... to even imagine that I touch your hands. And in fact I still respect you the same. What can I do, I'm a brat and I don't yet appreciate what I'm given. I prefer to convince myself that everything is different. I don't care if you're the best. For me, you're going to be much worse, always... I have no fear of disillusion, but to create an illusion for myself.


After all, you promise me to be there with your words of wisdom, your sweet and terribly confusing words. I can not correspond you. I do not want to feel like a prostitute, and I'm not feeling sorry for it... In the endI like you too. Or I love you. Nothing I say is worthy of what you bring me back. Smiles' trafficker I've become, and yes, I feel like shitOn both sides of my head, I feel like shit. But what did I think I wasI was crazy!


Yes I am, I'm crazy.
I lack years of experience. And I'm terrified that you can touch my heart...
Just like that. 
Let me shout it out.

jueves, 28 de julio de 2011

Tetrahedron

I only need your eyes... and my solitude.
The highest and the darkest has been chosen. Now, just let it evolve.


Stare at my face, enjoy the silence, let's join this parade of thoughts unspoken. When did it begin?
Your half smile, and your hands moving to the rhythm of a whole history... What else do you need to mesmerise me?


Don't wink. Don't put your teeth on me. Sorry if I'm serious...
Mais tu rendres difficile de sourire parce que tu rendres difficile de respirer.

lunes, 25 de julio de 2011

Today

Guns aren't toys. Don't make me cry. Don't play with that.
All you need is love, and I feel like I'm letting you die. Everybody could save a life.
You don't need to go to war to feel the horror. Life can be a hell, no matter where you are.
Death is the end, but you don't know when, where or how. You're not a soldier, but you can suffer more than a thousand of them. Because...


But at least you are waiting in tranquility... Millions aren't, because they are not living at all.
I'm calling people that don't want to put up with it anymore. I call them to run or die. Life can be wonderful. But it isn't worth living life to suffer. And sometimes death can be the only relief.


I wish I could be there and give you love before you die...
Life can be wonderful.

Yesterday

Stupid days pass by. My head, burnt in vain. And my mouth, closed. Empty. But holding the breath...
Leave me here. With the trees and the moon. I want to feel the cold and the fear. I need darkness and silence. Hug a dead trunk and cry alone. Take off my shoes and turn over the land and the stones. Raise the dust and wait for the wind to disperse it. Because I know you won't come. And I can't come back to you either... My feet are sore, and I can't catch up with you at the pace you are running away.


At first it felt good. I could take a deep breathe and relax. She said you were sad. And I replied 'Me too'. I lied. I was free, for just one day, of your yells. But silence can hurt too. Then I started to fear you were really dissappointed, and that you would never talk to me again. Later I stuck again to my own reasons. But what  good are my reasons if I don't let you know them? 'I can't explain myself surrounded by shouts' Excuses.


I could have done better. I'm guilty too. But I prefer being guilty with you to letting you support all the weight. I don't want to do the right thing, so that you have to apologize. Be forced to do as I want. I'm not able to explain why... but I know it in my heart. I want you to be free of my own sorrows. I don't want to force you to change. Please, decide for yourself what you want to do with me.

miércoles, 20 de julio de 2011

For me and you to know

Taare Zameen Par

On Solomon Islands, when the natives want a part of the forest for cultivation, they do not cut the trees. They simply gather around the tree and shout abuses at it—curse at it. In a matter of days, the tree withers and shrivels. It dies on its own. - Ram Nikumbh

~

Respect means no interruption.
Respect mean no confrontation.
Respect means no accusation.
Respect means no "mocking",
Especially, no mocking of elders.
Respect means no lies between us.
Respect means no betrayal of confidence.
Respect means no "ripping off".
Respect means no hording.


Respect means no "lording it over" someone.
Respect means no ordering around.
Respect means no yelling in anger.
Respect means no bad language.
Respect means no name calling.
Respect means controlling yourself.


Respect is not a commodity.
Respect is a way of being.
Respect is in our chest not in our hand.
Respect is for all of life.
Respect is for every species in the world,
including all four races.
Respect is for all our relations.


Respect is focusing on and dealing in
"issues" and not personalisms".
Respect is focusing on "what" is right
rather than "who" is right.
Respect means owning our own negativity
and not being a "Blame Shifter."
A "Blame Shifter" is one who projects or shifts
his own negativity onto someone else.
This is the process of bigotry, war, and genocide.



Respect is keeping the lines of communication open
with those who have a different opinion,
and making a sincere attempt to let them be heard and understood.
Respect means listening until everyone has been heard and understood,
only then is there a possibility for "Balance and Harmony". - Dave Chief

~

Stick and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts... - Robert Fulghum

martes, 5 de julio de 2011

Slow, false peace

Today I did the things that remind me of you. Every single thing that relates to you. I build the links as I feel like, because you can't see me and you will never know. But if you want to, I can tell you.
As I knew about you again, I felt what you were feeling. I felt your call without hearing it.
Don't ask me why, because I don't know.


What concerns you. What I did today made me cry. And put my hands on my forehead, sipping, convulsing.
Don't call me, don't ask me, because I don't know why. Ask my heart. May it knows something. Because my mind can't explain anything to you.
It will be that I love you... don't ask me more.



~

I don't know if this is an obsession, or everybody feels like I do...


I hope... I hope I am OK...

jueves, 30 de junio de 2011

Vicious circle of hate and love

It seems like you know me. Sometimes I feel scared because of those outdated stories which have nothing to do with us. But you smile and I smile, you laugh and I laugh, you talk and I hush.
I knew it from the first moment. You said the words I wanted to hear from another mouth. So close, so far.
I'm not worshiping, I don't want to compare. But you understand me, more than I do. And I'm so thankful.


~

It is becoming harder and harder to see you nowadays. In the streets you mingle with the colours and the wind. Under the rain, you are translucent. In the dark nights, even the lightnings can give you a bit of volume.
But you got the world enchanted. You are the big human law of physics.


I've been in this darkness before, but I wanted to live from a new perspective and I moved on from it. I'm reliving the effects but far away from it. Don't want to come back to it, I'm just understanding that everything is improvable, and any improvement will make life better, for me and for everybody around me.


Where are remaining these thoughts? When did they get so old? How couldn't I help it...?

O n e    m o r e    t i m e    . . .

sábado, 18 de junio de 2011

Old sick thinking

-He's such an incredible boy. The best I've ever known. At first, I thought he was shy, embarrased by everything. But he's so funny. He makes me laugh a lot and sometimes we laugh together. That's the best thing! I don't know why but when we laugh at the same time, roaring with laughter, it's like a connection between us... His white teeth exposed, his entire face contracted in that gesture of happiness, his chest convulsing, his eyes looking at me bright, his laughter expanding in all directions, hitting mine...
She smiled while looking at the horizon. Progressively her expression turned more serious.


-He never cries. And if he cries, it's impotence. Because his father shouts at him when he argues with his mother. He cries of anger, because he can't throw his fists to his face, so he just can punch a cushion, or the cupboard... Because he can't vent his frustration. Because he needs to let off steam. It's very common... Boys usually always cry for that reason. For the need of a relief...
She was playing nervously with her fingers. When she realized it, she stopped, looked at her hands and sighed.
-He never cried over anybody. He cried when his grandfather died. And he cried over me just a few days ago...
Unconciously she started to play with her fingers again, slowly.


-That's something I won't ever understand. I don't deserve the tears of such a beautiful and perfect being. I am nothing compared with him...

lunes, 13 de junio de 2011

Hex

The wind, the sun, the horses and the burning dust. They couldn't cope with you.
Your body is young, but your eyes are worn-out.
I made promises time ago...

I know there's silence in your home. At night, mom and dad wipe each other's faces.
Who wipe yours, giant? A voice in your head murmurs 'Keep it low'.
I care for you, yet...

The warm sweet chocolate of your skin melts my pupils, and your lips swing my thoughts.
But your eyelids can't shelter your eyes, and that scratches my ribs.
I've broken all my promises to you...


Why do you suffer?
You thicken the air with those whispers, and makes it hard to breathe.
Giant owner of my land, why do you suffer?
Keep struggling, I'll be here for you.
From the distance, from under your bed, from your subconscious dreams.
Why do you kill me so easily?


Say 'come', and I'll forget the world I knew.
Only you will linger in my memory.
And I will give myself away.
Don't suffer, my love.
I'm here for you.
Forever.

sábado, 11 de junio de 2011

Leichenblässe

-You squeezed my hand so tight, and then your chest fell. All your strenght faded away. I cannot forget your face when you passed away. Your expression was so calm... Fuck, you left. All I could think in that moment was 'I am all alone now'. The situation was so maddening. I had a terrible tightness in my chest, and my temples were throbbing. I felt cold and heat at the same time, I was sweating and trembling. Then I fainted.
Sarah drank some water from the glass.
-Do you want some? Yes? -Sarah placed the mouth of the bottle on the surface of the mirror and slowly poured a trickle of water. She began to laugh.
-Anna, you always fool me! Now I have to wipe this mess... Wait here.
She went out of the room. Her mother was preparing juice in the kitchen. She looked at Sarah with watery eyes when she came in.
-Mom, where's the mop?
-Here you have... Sarah, please, have this juice. I prepared it for you.
-No, thank you.
-Sarah, please... It's just a juice... Please -her mother was crying.
Sarah took the mop and glared at her.
-I said no.
Sarah came back to her room and closed the door. She wiped the mirror and sat in front of it. She stared at the surface. She spoke again.
-People are trying to be my friend, and I hate all that compassion. They're not going to convince me. You are the one and only, the most true friend I've ever had. I'm sorry for my mom, but I'm already 16 and I can make my own decisions. One week has passed, and I haven't failed a single day...
Sarah frowned and looked down.
-I'm very cold all the time. And my stomach hurts like hell... But when I see you, I gather strenght to carry on. No doubt I will carry on, Anna... Dear, do you see what I see? You're as beautiful as ever, Anna, just look at your bones, I can see them all, you're perfect! But look at me... My skin is still rosy and thick enough to hide my real being. Anna, I want to meet you now, I just can't wait...
She put a hand on the mirror.


-My mother told me that if I don't eat, she will call the hospital. Now I'm not safe in my own home. I need to run away from it, but I don't know where to go. I cannot die in any which way, I must die like a princess, you know. Where can I go, Anna? I ain't got nobody in all this world... Only you, Anna, you've always been the only one who could understand me... And I need you, Anna. I can't bear this loneliness, I need to fill this emptiness within me... I just can't wait to meet you, dear. Tomorrow early morning, when my mother is still asleep, I'll break this mirror and take a big piece of it. I'll also take a blanket, and I will run to the cemetery. I will find water in the maintenance room... And I'll sleep next to you. If they find me I will slash my wrists, and if they don't leave me alone, I will do away with me... They won't catch me alive, anyone will stand in our way, Anna. I'll fight until the end, and I'll do my best to do it right. It's my only wish; to become a princess, and meet with you in the afterlife forever. It's not long till that...

miércoles, 1 de junio de 2011

Just a song, not an insinuation

Time after time we dream
Dreaming of how it all could be
But none can say what lies ahead
When after the dawn the sun will set
Only the truth remains in here

Mmmm...
Promises we make in vain and
Words we give for a while to break
A flower fades away - like everything else
Oh everything fades away


Words are stuck to the heart, my friend
They bring us together 'til we part again
When there's nothing left to share
And all the words will disappear
Only the truth remains in here
Words are stuck to the heart

My friend, my friend, my friend
Cuando solo el silencio canta
My friend, my friend, my friend
Y solo tus sueños bastan


Blood ain't blood for just the veins
If tears don't bleed the heart has failed
Need some space to ease my mind
I give it all up for just a smile
Only the truth remains in here

Mmmm...
Promises we make in vain and
Words we give for a while to break
A flower fades away - like everything else
Oh everything fades away


From street thugs
To guetto sufis
Holding their breaths
We clutch to riches and fame
Like it's all that's left
Righteousness is kept
Through minds awakened
Today we break our word
Like the bread we breaking

Así que tus palabras son mi cuna
Mi promesa es tu luna
Y cuando tu verso es verde claro
Que busca en el monte amparo
Mi verso es un puñal que da agua de coral
Llevo promesas tatuadas en mi pecho

[Words Stuck to Heart - Outlandish]

sábado, 28 de mayo de 2011

Two sayings

The enlightened one wants to fix this machine. He wonders why it returns the coin after insertion.
This machine doesn't need any adjustment, only your ways, your ideas need it. I'm part of this machine and I declare that I don't want your money if in return I have to give up my freedom.
I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. I hope the rest of the parts think the same.


~

At nights it's cold and windy. The city is white, the sky is black. Pollution hides the stars from him, the weight of loneliness flopped into his bones mercilessly. 'Does anyone ever miss me?' Now his voice is a chill breeze. 'If I die tonight...' He cannot find shelter anywhere.


Quiet waters run deep. He bears what he feels and what he feels he belies.
But for the rest he's nothing but a small star less in the sky. Out of sight, out of mind.